Yesterday Dave received an email from a Spambot. It read as follows:
Spambot Wrote:
Hi,
My name is Lily Holmes, Web Marketing Consultant. Ive greatly enjoyed looking through your site geekplanetonline.com and I was wondering if you'd be interested in exchanging links with my website, which has a related subject. I can offer you a home page link back from my related websites all in google cache and backlinks which are:
trollpope(dot)com PR6
b-zaal(dot)com PR4
If you are interested, please send me the following details of your site:
TITLE:
URL:
I'll add your link as soon as possible, in the next 24 hours. As soon as it's ready, I'll send you a confirmation email along with the information (TITLE and URL) regarding my site to be placed at yours.
I hope you have a nice day and thank you for your time.
Kindest regards,
PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS IS NOT A SPAM OR AUTOMATED EMAIL, IT'S ONLY A REQUEST FOR A LINK EXCHANGE. YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS HAS NOT BEEN ADDED TO ANY LISTS, AND YOU WILL NOT BE CONTACTED AGAIN. IF YOU'D LIKE TO MAKE SURE WE DON'T CONTACT YOU AGAIN, PLEASE FILL IN THE FOLLOWING FORM: emailsnomore(dot)com ; PLEASE ACCEPT OUR APOLOGIES FOR CONTACTING YOU.
Merely moving this message to the spam file was far too simple for our Editor - oh yes! For you see, dear children, this spambot had attracted the wrath of Dave's alter-ego, the fearsome Mr. Mockery, and thus it was dispatched in the following manner. Enjoy!:
Mr Mockery wrote:
Dear Lilly,
As much as would love to send you a link in exchange I do so hate the impersonality of email. Why don't we get together in person to exchange the information, maybe over a little light supper. After that we can maybe take a in a West End show before finding a discreet late night bistro where we can drink liqueurs and listen to the house jazz band play some John Coltrane. We can slow dance together until the wee small hours gazing into one another's eyes as our emotions are swept up in the swell of the music. Though we have only met that night our passions run away with us culminating in a night of passionate lovemaking and the following morning we find ourselves on a steamboat to Marrakesh where we have resolved to elope to start a new life a spice merchants. Just think of the new life that could be yours if you would only turn your back on the drudgery of web marketing consultancy to join me and my fifteen other wives living off the land in peace barring the occasional raid by savage bandits. Embrace this chance meeting Lilly! Seize the day!
Yours
Viscount Tarquin Dillinger III MA (Failed)
